Asexuality, like any orientation, means different things to different people. For me, it means that while I can be attracted to people, I have no desire to sleep with them. Except in the literal sense of going to sleep next to someone which can be rather nice on a cold night.

I’m not strongly romantically motivated and what relationships I’ve had have been few and far apart. And the sex aspect does seem to have been a consistent deal breaker. Not that I blame them. I can imagine how confusing it must be for someone strongly sexually driven to be around someone who isn’t.

All the same, I still don’t rule out the possibility of future relationships. You can never be too sure of who life might bring your way. And I do have some sort of capacity to find things romantic, even if the kind of relationships that intrigue me are more like Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter or Frank and Claire Underwood than they are Romeo and Juliet. I find some places have a quality that could be called romantic: Ruins and forgotten spaces; woodland and graveyards.

I’m neither bitter nor yearning and I think romance of a kind is still possible.

Just in case you were wondering.

Damian Mark Whittle